Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
me + whiskey = a bad person
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
