the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
