using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize