i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
