I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
