Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
