tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
