that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
