YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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