Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
