I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think I am morally bankrupt
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
