I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
