now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
