You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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