I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
