Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
