It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
where are my eyebrows?
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