my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
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