check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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