just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
