I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
