party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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