Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
