fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
