At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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