The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
