I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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