you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
