just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
