I want you more than these girls want KFC
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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