I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
