So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
