I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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