1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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