The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
