I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
