This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
