I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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