normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize