dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
