is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
