I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
