420 ftw
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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