My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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