I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize