We're facebook friends in real life
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize