Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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