Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize