Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
