I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You don't make any sense
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