Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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