How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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