I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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