Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
