No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
everyone is single if you try hard enough
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
