some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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