the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
