she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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