I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
