this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
