I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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