I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
