Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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