The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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